The Malady of Life

23rd May 2023

There is so much suffering and pain in the world.

It was my second week at the new job. During break time, I stepped outside the mall for a smoke. As I exited Eaton Center, I saw a young girl, maybe 23-24, sitting on the street with a sign, asking for money.

Her face was partially hidden, but as soon as I walked through the door, I heard her crying in great pain. I saw it and felt a piercing pain in my gut.

While I’ve been worried about not getting interviews, there is someone who doesn’t have money to buy food or support themselves. I went to the corner, had my smoke, and tried to process what I just experienced.

I don’t carry cash as all payments are online/card-based. I shuffled through my wallet and found a $5 US bill that my Mom gave me as a good luck charm.

I gave her the note, I also had a spare handkerchief in my bag which I offered for her to dab her tears. She thanked me in a low voice. As I was heading back, I remembered something and gave her the bottle of water I was carrying. The fact that she readily accepted my aid made me realize that she didn’t even have water to drink.

As I came back into the mall, realizing what just happened, I felt a very odd feeling in my body, maybe it was gratitude, or it was me being a vehicle of some higher power to help someone in need.

I went to the food court and ordered some rice and Veg korma, which was the Chef’s special for that day. I sat down to eat but food wouldn’t go down my throat. I felt so guilty having a belly full of good food at a moment’s notice. I managed to gulp down 1/3rd of the bowl, as it was my first meal of the day. I thought to myself, she also needed food.

I didn’t want to buy something and go there, only for her to not be present. This is because the distance between the two places is 2 levels and 7 minutes of walking. So instead I thought I’ll go offer her the trail mix protein bar I was carrying. But by the time I reached it, she was gone.

You know how a daily schedule makes life robotic and stagnant, as if you are merely existing. It’s moments like these which re-humanize us.